Pointing Addiction
So many finger sayings, so little time. Pull my finger, a favorite in many households. And the popular, "When you point one finger, there are three fingers pointing back to you."
One finger pointing straight out is damaging enough. We've all been the person pointed at for some reason or another. Physical, intellectual, racial, cultural, socioeconomic differences... clothes, habits, preferences, mannerisms, size of toes (personal story here), beliefs, background, age, political affiliation... the list never ends. As a public school teacher, I've seen children bullied for everything - for not understanding multiplication, for being *too* smart, for wearing certain clothes, for having certain medical conditions, for not eating meat at lunch, Really? My daughter was made fun of last year for wearing a Halloween costume that she made with her own hands. Trying to turn the situation into a "teaching" opportunity through her tears and my clenched, protective jaw was more than difficult. I know a girl who was bullied so badly in elementary school, she never recovered. You know the stories...
If we recognize the damage a critical eye and word can do to another person, why would we want to inflict triple the damage on ourselves? Are you as comfortable as I am in letting negative, critical, judgmental discourse have free reign in my mind? Most days, if I only had 3 fingers pointing back at me, it would be a huge relief! How is the damage you do to yourself any different than using words to degrade and humiliate another human?
Yesterday, I wrote about increasing positive self-talk. And it remains my challenge to you. John Gottman reported that 5 positive thoughts are required to calm down a negative thought, dubbing this the "magic ratio." Imagine the number of negative thoughts you aim at yourself in a day, now multiply that times 5. Oy vey. That's a bucket ton of niceness.
With the Moon moving into Virgo today, it is a time to look at your self-talk. If the Sun's month in Leo is to be fruitful and fulfilling, we need to sweet talk the proverbial life seeds we are planting. Virgo is a great gardener. Her keen ability to work hard, problem-solve, analyze, and organize your new efforts is unmatched. Coupled with Leo's life-giving Sun rays, your project seedlings will grow with vigor and vitality!
The challenge is to allow your inner Virgo to tend to the details without letting a dominant, critical voice take over. Let her nurture your projects and ideas with the care of a nurse not the judgment of a bully.
Sure, let someone pull your finger. But let's commit to putting other finger pointing aside. YOU and the person across from you deserve your compassion, not your finger - unless you let them pull it. Go bowling with the other three.
Schedule a reading to understand yourself with love and compassion!
